What I Wish Younger Me Knew [GUEST POST]

Part of what I love so much about writing, is the opportunity to meet fellow bloggers and writers. By God's beautiful providence, I have had the blessing of meeting Tammy. This is letter she has written to her younger self now that she has reached the stage of being "Grannie". May us younger-in-years moms draw from her wisdom as we focus on our priorities this new year.

Letter from my (now) Grannie self, to my (then) young wife/mommy self: 

Dear wife/mommy who tries so hard to be perfect, 

Believe it or not, There are some things you will never regret, but you will have regrets. You will never regret specific kind words or patience towards your husband, sweet efforts to get him to read books to improve, or words spent to encourage him or build him up. Key words sweet and kind. It all is worth a try... 

You will never regret time spent cuddling your babies, or toddlers, or tweens or teens. You will never regret doing your BEST to provide for them, protect them, nurture them, train them. You will be AMAZED at how the minutes of chaos turn into years, and in a blink, your children are grown and gone. Key word gone. 

You WILL have some regrets, because despite how near perfect you think that you are (talking to myself in my 30s and 40s)- your 50s are all about increased self awareness and benefitting from the wonderful hindsight perspective. In your 50s you can look back and see some glaring and embarrassing weaknesses and flaws, some that your husband tried to give you a clue about, but YOU JUST COULD NOT SEE IT. Maybe try listening a little more, praying more, and being quiet more with him. 

You and he are different individuals, so it is natural that you have different perspectives and ideas… but be careful… I’m telling you now, that in the future you will see that HE WAS RIGHT on a few things!! 

So just live humbly. Honor your husband. 

That little boy that you birthed, whom you adore...you know… the one that you love more than anything in this world… He grows up. He makes you proud. He finds a wife. His wife becomes his world. His wife and his children…You...are...a…GRANNIE!!! 

You LOVE being a Grannie, but guess what? There is an empty place left in your heart, since your son left your home. You don’t live with him everyday. Your minutes with him are few, but almost unfathomably, you love him no less than when he was an infant, a toddler, a tween, a teen…. But he is, yes, a grown man and he lives away from you as is fitting, and makes you proud. 

Guess who is still in your home, loving you as always? The same one who you kinda gave left-over time crumbs to when you were raising those kids. Yep, your husband! 

Go give him a big hug and a kiss. Tell him you love him, appreciate him, and that you want to be a good wife. Ask him what three wishes he would ask of his wife. Try to oblige. 

God. 

Husband.

Children.

Really is a good order of priorities. 

I know it is tough. 

While you are in the trenches, doing your best, trying to serve, God, your husband, the kids, sometimes church and others…. Do remember a few things: 

1) Perfection is God and Jesus’s job, not yours. Give yourself and others some grace, like God and Jesus give to you! 

2) Do take care of yourself. Practice boundaries, and learn to say NO. 

3) Keep eternal perspective. What will matter in the long run? What matters to God? Will this matter a year from now? 10 years from now? This perspective can help you make decisions, plan, and set priorities for time management… 

4) Again, love that husband. When the kids are gone, it’s only going to be YOU and HIM. 

Lastly, I want to encourage you. Do not lose heart. Yes it is tough raising the kids. It is tough letting go of the kids. Sometimes it is boring, just you and your husband, but being a GRANNIE is totally AWESOME. You for sure will find, that when you travel with God, Bible lighting your path, there are sweet pauses and breathtaking surprises in every stage of life and for Christians, “The best is yet to come,” always.

You can read more wisdom from Tammy on her blog "Grandma Mary Martha."